How Childhood Shapes the Rest of Our Lives.

A child envisioning a future full of adventures and overcoming challenges.

When we look at what helps people live well, longer lives, stable finances, home ownership, good health, strong relationships, better jobs, and fewer problems with the law, one key factor keeps rising to the top.

That factor is delayed gratification, a Key to success.

It’s the ability to wait, to choose the bigger reward later rather than grabbing the smaller one right now.You might know the classic study: a child is offered one marshmallow (or lolly) now, or two if they can wait.It’s a simple test, but it says a lot. Do the mahi, get the treats.

And this isn’t just theory, it’s backed by decades of research. The Dunedin Study, one of the world’s longest-running and most respected studies on human development, shows that this one skill predicts success across nearly every area of life. Researchers like Jay Belsky, Avshalom Caspi, Terrie Moffitt, and Richie Poulton have helped us understand just how powerful it is.

But here’s the most important part for us as parents: Children don’t learn this from lectures, they learn it from us.

They watch how we respond to stress.They see whether we follow through, how we handle disappointment, and if we can stick with something even when it’s hard.That old saying “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t fool them. They see straight through it.

So, if we want to raise kids who can wait, who can work hard and dream big, who can build strong relationships and bounce back from setbacks, we start by modelling those things ourselves.

And the good news? It’s never too late.

Every moment is a fresh chance to show them what it looks like to choose long-term strength over short-term comfort.You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing.

The most powerful tool your child has… is watching you become who you want them to be.

Let’s lead the way.